July 2, 2007

It's time to start this part of myself back up.

It's been too long since I've had anything that I could really be honest in. Myspace doesn't even count. There are people reading there that I don't want nor care to be writing out what's inside my head and they are not my friends and also? My kids don't need to know what's going on inside my head either. I'm still the parent.

This is different. This is my home. My domain. My kingdom. I have complete and absolute control over it. (hah. yeah I know. I'm kidding. It's the web! It's published! You have no control over it!)

The past year and a half of my life has been one fucked up ride my friends. The sad part is that I have only myself to blame. The bright side is that I learned one HELL OF FREAKIN' lesson and at least it only lasted for a relatively short time (in days anyway, it felt like an eternity of hell) period and not YEARS of my life.

One bit of the lesson learned, or should I say RElearned: once you break my trust, it's gone forever. Even if I TRY to get it back into place, it's gone. Even if I WANT to get it back, it's gone. Gone is gone. Done is done. Let's keep that in the forefront of the brain Renee.

In the bad news and good news thing: I started smoking again last year around March-April but I quit smoking for good on June 22, 2007.