July 3, 2007

I'm very out of practice on this. I can post a 2 line blog in a new york second but set me down in front of all this white space and my mind blanks.

Let's start out with something relatively easy.

My brother recently completely BLET training down in Fl. and I am VERY proud of him. He and A. got married about 2 years ago (2 years this October) and they just had a baby boy back in February. I speak to him every month or two but I miss him terribly. I want to drive down and visit. As soon as they get back on their feet and adjusted to having a baby, I probably will jump in my vehicle and head out.

My sister and her husband also just had another baby. In February as well although Jennifer wasn't due until April. They went through a lot for the little boy but he's doing okay now. Still has some health issues but they are working on it. He's fat as a little pig though. So, she finally got her boy after two girls. She and I had some conflict recently (really, a few months ago) and neither of us have talked about it but a visit to NC by our Dad Warren sort of pushed us back together. We are tentatively getting along at this point. All things as usual on that front.

I actually talked to my Granpop on the phone the other day. For the first time in almost 2 years. I know. I'm a bad granddaughter. I called him on Father's Day. It was not an easy call to make. He loves me and always tells me how much he misses me and that he doubts he'll ever be able to come down to NC to visit because of his age and health and I guess I need to get my butt up to PA. to see him soon. He still has the same girlfriend and other than that, it's the same as it ever was.

My Mother still manages to piss me off on a regular basis. I talk to her because I have to most of the time. The boy is down there living with her so I check in at least once a week, with her, to make sure he's doing what he's supposed to be doing. Going to school (only had one class to get his high school diploma which was an English class and he's almost finished. Finally.), keeping his job and staying out of trouble. He's been doing well. He's been clean and drug free now for 6 months.

A. is driving Nat han and Vi cky crazy up in the big and wild world of Montana and I find it, at turns, both funny and maddening. Funny because he totally deserves to have to deal with a boy crazy 14 year old. Hah. Told him a long time ago this was coming. He laughed. Laugh now, cry later. He's crying now. She's supposed to come for a visit this summer soon but who knows if that will happen. I haven't seen her since LAST summer. Sucks. It's maddening because she better behave or Imma (<---as she says) beat her ass. TRU DAT.

And last but certainly not least. E rica. The girl turns into me more and more each day. I haven't figured out if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Most likely a combination of both. She doesn't like school already. This is bad. She's starting third grade this fall. How can you not like school in 3rd grade????? Or 2nd grade????? She wants to go to a different school. I have no idea where I will be living or where S tuart will be living a few months from now so I'm not even dealing with the issue just yet.

Oh yeah. S tuart has finally given up on thinking he and I will ever get back together. Don't get me wrong. He has been my biggest help and emotional help in dealing with the AntiChrist that I lived with for the past year and change. Every time we argued or split up, S tuart would be there telling me not to worry, that it would work out and we'd get back together.

Well. I'd had abate of the lying and the manipulation and being used by the beginning of May and moved out of the place we stayed together. I moved back to S tuart's house. This works out (for now) for both of us because he is still gone every week, all week, out of town working. I'm usually gone all weekend at the dive shop. I like it this way. So anyway. I'm not ready to talk about M ichael and what happened and I may never but I'm getting my head back on straight-er every day. I look back on all the crap and just can't BELIEVE how fucking stupid I was. How many signs and things that I just disregarded and damn. I am NOT that damn stupid. I have no explanation for why I lived like that for as long as I did. Really.

Back to this. S tuart had met a girl out in Charlotte and likes her lots and lots and LOTS. Which is very good. Finally!!!!!! is what I say. He took E. out there to meet her this week as he is on vacation. From what I understand, it's going well. For now. But S tuart is talking about moving out to Charlotte permanently. I think if he does that, he'll be taking E rica with him. It depends. I don't know if that's going to work for me or not. I don't know what I'm going to be doing a month from now so I'm just sort of working on my own head space and getting my collective crap back together and right in my head at this point.

I don't know that I should be making ANY big life altering decisions at this point in time.

My schedule involves work, work, working out, going home, working up at the dive shop on the weekends and that's about it.

I've gone out on one "go see" date where I met this guy for coffee out in Fayetteville. I liked him well enough but nah. That's not going to work.

There is other stuff but I'm not ready to talk about anything else at this point. (see above: getting head straight).

Easy enough to give surface updates. Always has been.

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Photos From Today (On my way to get my provisions)

Happy 4th Cupcakes

Heaven.