Doing better today sleepwise. Thankfully. I actually felt antsy being cooped up in the house today. I wasn't here all day though. I left the baby with Stuart's Mom for about 40 minutes while I went in to get Stuart's check and get it cashed.

I didn't feel guilty for leaving her either. I need time for me too.

However, now that I'm not wandering around in a tired daze, I'm going to start worrying about things again. Money. Christmas. These odd feelings that keep flashing in and out of my mind.

I find that if I try to focus on something that is too far into the future (one day being too far), the feelings are worse. Someone put a name to these THINGS. It's like guilt and shame wrapped up into one another with an extra dash or two of something else also. I hate them.

On a good note. I've gotten some really awesome email about the baby and this journal and everything. I'm trying to answer each one too. It may take a bit though! :)