The second trimester of my pregnancy: months 4-6

Here's something new. Stuart and I thought that we wouldn't have ANY problems picking out names for the baby. Now we find ourselves a bit stumped. We are now taking suggestions. So fill out the form and give us some ideas! You can also see some names that have already been suggested on that page. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to fill it out so far!

May 31, 1998
9:45 pm

I am getting rather upset at the way I look. I feel so damn ugly and fat right now it's unbelievable. Instead of looking pregnant I just look fat. If I'm going to gain the weight, I want to look pregnant dammit.

Names. We have been talking right along about names but nothing concrete yet. If it's a boy it's going to be relatively easy to name. A girl on the other hand, I haven't even really thought of one yet.

Emotionally I am a friggin basket case.

Same for Mentally.

Physically: I am not as tired now. I am much hungrier!!! I sleep on my stomach and it's already becoming a bit uncomfortable. All my body parts are getting in the way. I'm starting to feel really pregnant now only if my body would catch up. I go back to the doctor on June 12. I will be 16 weeks along then. Or something like that. I am getting short of breath more often. My nose is starting to bleed now and my sinuses are still messed up. The extra estrogen in my body is contributing to all that wonderful stuff. My ankles are already becoming swollen after being on my feet for any length of time.

As for as all the books go, I am right on target in all areas. I have a classic case of pregnancy.

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June 3, 1998
8:00 pm

I've already been asked whether or not I will be breast-feeding. Here's another wonderful landmine for me. With Alix, there was no way I intended on doing it. No way. Don't even think about it. I just get this really bad feeling about it. I used to joke my way out of it with smart ass little remarks like "I've been sitting on this egg for 9 months, I'm not about to be a cow for any length of time."

I just can't reconcile my body for that purpose. I  just. can't. do. it. Why do I get this feeling? Like a bit of disgust and horror at the thought? It's an icky feeling. So I doubt that this is going to happen. I just don't think I can even attempt it. They are mine dammit and I don't want to share them like that. I think that would ruin my sexlife forever. I mean I know that's where this feeling comes from. That wonderful little Mother/Sex Fiend mind thing of mine. Argh! I don't know right now. Maybe I'll know later.

I am now in the beginning of the second trimester. Only 4/5 more months to go. oy.

June 12, 1998
2:00 pm

I had my doctor's appointment today. It went pretty good I think. Stuart had to take me because my car developed a ummm problem on Monday and it's not running. Not a good thing. But anyhow. We heard the baby's heartbeat. :) Loud and strong and fast: 150 beats per minute. Every few seconds you would hear a great big static "scratch". The doc said that was the baby moving around.

Pretty damn neat. I just layed there and grinned like an idiot. It felt good though to hear it. I've been waiting for this for awhile now. It just sort of confirms it and makes it more tangible. Made me quite excited about it now. Stuart is quite pleased also. He was afraid to hear it though. Worried that something would be wrong with the heartbeat.

I've also been feeling it move. It's......an odd feeling. A good one though. It makes it that much more real and that means I'm moving right along!

I am now 16 weeks along and officially in my 5th month. Wheeeeeeee!

I have only gained 2 and a half pounds since last month too. So I'm VERY happy about that. Maybe I won't weigh in at over 200 lbs this time. ugh. Not that I'm sure what my weight was while pregnant with Alix. After I hit 190, I quit looking or asking. I'm not doing that this time and plan on trying to keep it under control. I took that old wives tale about eating for two, to heart. Not a good thing.

One little thing, I am RH negative. They have a big red sticker on my folder. This isn't a good thing but it could be worse. I remember when I was pregnant with Mikey that I had to be tested at 28 weeks to see if the antibodies were attacking the fetus. He also ended up being the opposite blood type to me so I had to have a shot right after he was born to keep everything under control. So I have to have the tests done again this time around. They didn't do it while I was pregnant with Alix though, shitty system in Fayetteville. I've had a hell of a time tracking down info on this but I've found this on a news :

Rh factor protein substance present on the surface of the red blood cells of most (85% or more) people and capable of inducing an intense antigen-antibody reaction (see IMMUNITY). When Rh-positive blood is given to an Rh-negative person or when fetal Rh-positive blood (inherited from the father) is mixed with maternal Rh-negative blood during pregnancy, the Rh-negative person develops antibodies to the foreign Rh factor. A serious or even fatal reaction may occur in subsequent mixing of two blood types, as in repeat transfusions or other pregnancies involving an Rh-positive fetus. In the latter case, the possibility of a fetal or newborn reaction (called erythroblastosis fetalis) can be prevented by the administration to the Rh-negative mother of a special immune globulin that suppresses antibody formation. In other cases, when the immune globulin is not given, the reaction must be treated by total blood exchange shortly before or after birth. See also BLOOD GROUPS.

I did manage to find a page that lists complications in a pregnancy and it was there and answered all my questions.

I also did the blood test called Triscreen Plus which checks the baby for Spina Bifida, Down's Syndrome and Trisomy 18. The doctor said that if there are any problems that I will hear from them by this coming Wednesday. If I don't hear from them, I'm good to go. I'm in one of the lowest risk groups for any of that stuff but you still worry. I think this is the worst part. You worry and worry and no test is 100% able to calm any of these fears because no test is 100% right. I think this is one of a parent to be's greatest fears. It's not something you talk about all the time though. Most people want to talk about names and the gender and all that. Not what hereditary diseases are in the family tree.

Stuff found on the web: I found a neat site that sets up a daily/monthly calender for the whole pregnancy thing. Here is what's going to happen in June.

Also, Old Wive's Tales abound on how to determine the sex of your baby. Here's one that incorporates most of them into a test. Not to be taken seriously. My chances of having a girl are 76% and 23% for a boy. Here's why they think that:

You are carrying the extra weight around the hips and bottom, so it's a girl.

The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your preganacy, so it's a girl.

Boys are carried low. You are going to have a boy. Sleeping in a bed with your pillow to the north indicates that you will be having a boy.

Your feet are not colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a girl.

You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a girl.

Dad-to-be hasn't been gaining weight along with Mom-to-be, so it will be a girl.

The maternal grandmother has gray hair, so a boy will be born.

You had morning sickness early in pregnancy, so you are expecting a girl.

You are not looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a girl, because girls steal their mother's looks.

Your chest development has been quite dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a girl.

Your urine is a dull yellow color, so you will have a girl.

You have a craving for salty or sour foods, which means that it is a boy.

Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl.

You have been craving fruits, so it is a girl.

Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl.

Mentally I'm doing alright with the situation now. I'm always going to hate losing my figure and having to deal with the emotions that brings up but overall, I can now start looking forward to this baby.

Physically The heat is killing me. The doctor was a bit concerned about me being in it all day and warned me to be very careful. I will, but it just drains me. I'm okay out in it until about right after lunch. From then until the time I leave it takes everything I've got to put one foot in front of the other.

My sinuses have been bothering me something fierce too. They told me I could take the Tylenol Sinus medicine so I'm pretty damn happy about that. I've been keeping headaches everyday now for about two weeks. Sinus and tension headaches. So maybe one will go away!

I've been getting extremely clumsy lately which is contibuted to the Relaxin hormone which is what loosens your pelvic bones up in preparation for the birth. It also loosens other bones and stuff up which is why I keep tripping over every damn thing. I think it's a bit funny because I'll just be walking along talking to someone and whoops! there I go. My ankles are always giving out on me so I know that's most of the problem. The people I'm usually walking with get this really surprised and sort of worried look on their faces until they know I'm okay.

Still have the heartburn and all the other gastrointestinal upsets that go along with this ride. Everything is starting to feel "smooshed" inside.

Emotionally I am about as prepared emotionally for this child as I will ever be. No matter how much you think that you're ready, you are really not. But that's okay, for now.

June 22, 1998
10:00 pm

I haven't felt the baby move today or yesterday that I remember. This is vaguely worrisome. I hate that.

I'm supposed to come up with what they call a "Birthing Plan". Some of the questions they give to think about, I've already thought about.

Who do I want with me during labor and birth?

Stuart of course.

If it's a boy will it be circumcised? 

Yes. This is not negotiable.

How do I plan to cope with the pain during labor?

Ummm, holler and swear a lot? Take as many drugs as humanly possible? How about, not think about it until it's happening. :)

Are there any things that you want in the birthing room to help give you mental and physical support like music, aromatherapy essences, pictures of family, etc...?

Drugs. (i see a theme here) Seriously though, the only thing I want there is Stuart.

Do I have any special requests concerning the birth process itself? Like an episiotomy or the delivery of the baby?

Oh definitely. I do NOT want an episiotomy unless it's absolutely necessary. I had one with Mikey because at the time they were considered just a standard thing but some studies have proven that it's not necessary and causes more problems in the long run than anything. I didn't need one with Alix. I hope that I don't with this one. Those damn things hurt like you wouldn't believe. It took years after having it done for sex to feel right again and not hurt if too much pressure was put on that scar. As for the baby, just get it out in one piece, breathing. That would work.

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July 7, 1998
7:00 pm

I feel like I haven't updated this thing in weeks when really it's only been a few. There has been so much happening in our lives right now and in the past few weeks that I just haven't even been able to think about being pregnant. I didn't want to anyhow considering the money situation. I'm still not sure how the hell we are going to be able to afford everything but I guess I need to just hang in there.

Now, look what the child-to-be and I received via email this afternoon:

It's the child-to-be's very first gift. Sent by Ginkgo. Isn't it cute??!! Here's the description of her:

This is a very special sorceress. She loves gardens and butterflies and children. She likes to conjure up butterflies from thin air to amuse kids, and she loves to put on shows at night with the stars shining and fireflies flickering on and off, and magical butterflies glowing in every different color in the night, dancing beneath the sky in an intricate flying ballet. She also protects and cares for kids and mommies, keeping all the bad things away, and cheering them up with a magic show when they're down.

It did cheer me up. Thank you! All of you that are doing the virtual baby shower thing, I'm so overwhelmed that I really don't know what to say. Thank you, it means the world to me.

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July 26, 1998
5:00 pm

It's been a few weeks between updates. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and everything was going along as planned. The one thing that spooked me was the baby's heartbeat. It was only 130 beats per minute opposed to what it was about a month ago at 150. The doctor said that was within normal range but I wonder why it dropped?

I'm supposed to go get a sonogram this Wednesday to see if I can find out the sex of the baby. If I have to pay more money, I'll have to put it off for right now and try and schedule it about the second week of August. *sigh* I need to call and find out.

Jennifer, my sister who is due August 25, had her baby shower yesterday. She received a LOT of gifts. She's doing the whole baby room in Winnie the Pooh. Not exactly my cup of tea but she seems to like it alot and ended up getting not just one entire crib set of winnie the pooh but another one in a different pattern.

I loved the little outfits the best. The one from Carter's. Oh I LOVE their baby clothes!. Alix only ever had one outfit from there and it was sent to her from Ohio from my friend (her Godmother actually). I still have it I think somewhere.

We had a bit of fun too. We played games at this one, unlike the one for Stuart's cousin which seemed to be just a "see how much loot we can get". My favorite one was where you take a bunch of different baby food in jars and take the labels off. You number them and of course have a corresponding sheet with the correct names on it. Then you have to guess which one is which in a certain amount of time.

The baby food is will still be good so Jennifer will be able to use it when the time comes.

My Mom did an excellent job on it. I hope mine doesn't stress her out as bad. I doubt it will be as much fun though. Stuart's side just doesn't seem to "have fun" at these type of things.

I'm supposed to pick out a theme. ugh. I don't like Winnie the Pooh and I'm sick to death of Disney junk and everything just looks so "cutesy". I want an elegant baby design. I guess that since I'm pregnant I'm not supposed to have kept any of my taste and I'm supposed to go ga-ga over all that stuff. I guess if I absolutely HAD to pick out a theme it would be the Beatrix Potter one.

I'm feeling SO FAT right now and I'm not liking it one bit.

July 28, 1998
6:00 pm

I won't be going to get the sonogram tomorrow. I didn't want to go this week because I need the hours on my check so was going to try and reschedule it for my vacation next week. No dice. Nothing open then so I got bumped over to August 14 for a REGULAR appointment. The woman said that "possibly" I could be worked in for a sonogram on the 2 weeks after the 14th when I go in for my Glucose Test. (this checks to make sure my pregnant body is handling sugar correctly and I don't have gestational diabetes. Or something like that.)

So. I'll tell you the same thing I told Amanda on the phone today when she asked how I was doing.

I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT AND FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sinuses are still terribly messes up, I walk around with a headache every single day, the nerves in my back have started acting up again and now I have pains that shoot down from my lower back into both of my legs that feels like a friggin toothache; dull constant throbbing with the occasional spike of sharp pain.

I can't sleep because of it and I'm getting pretty damn cranky. I can't sleep on my belly and I can't find a comfortable position because of my back so basically I'm just screwed when it comes to sleep. I've been dreaming like crazy and I NEED SOME REST. I want my body back.

Emotionally and Mentally I'm doing fine. Well not really but I'm fine about the baby. I just am physically messed up because of it.

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July 30, 1998
5:00 pm

Little things. Trying to not look at the big picture of no money and being pregnant. It's the little things that are the glue holding me together. Thank you again Lizzie and everyone. It's keeping me sane.

I snagged this off of Lizzie's page because I saw it and thought it was just the cutest and sweetest thing in the world. I wanted to have the graphic anyhow, ya know, for a reminder when it's all over with. Something to keep.

Yes I linked to the page that has been driving me crazy with curiosity. (just click on the graphic) I've been good though!! I'm very proud of myself for not peeking. Even with people sending out little bits do diary-l. Again, I'm just amazed at the goodness of people. I'm getting mushy so I'll stop now.

August 3, 1998
11:00 am

Oh my aching sinuses. That is the one thing that has been present since we started this. Every single day, all the sneezing, the runny nose, the stuffed-up nose, blech.

Since Jeremy has left, I now have this extra room. That was and is, going to be the nursery type of thing. I wasn't too worried about Jeremy being here because I didn't have and still don't have anything to put in there. I need to clean out the odds and ends left behind by both siblings and start figuring out what I'm going to do with it.

We've now reached the stage in pregnancy that I hate. No more missionary style sex. My body keeps getting in the way and it's becoming uncomfortable. Thankfully there is more than one way to skin a cat. ;) I have to stock up now you know, there will be a long drought before all this is over with and I hate that idea. No fun!

It's also starting to become quite difficult to sit straight up from a prone position. I find I must roll to my side and push/pull myself up that way. Totally undignified and I feel like a beached whale. My internal organs are also starting to feel a bit smushed together. Which isn't something enjoyable. My ribcage was totally distorted by Mikey. In the last months of my pregnancy with him, he lodged himself right up under my left ribcage and it is actually an inch higher than the other one.

It's not terribly visible unless you know what you're looking for. My breast on that side sits higher than the other side and if I lay on my back in a nonpregnancy state you can clearly see the ribcage sticks up higher than the other side. Very odd thing.

The baby is also becoming more active, or at least I'm more able to feel the activity. So that means at least the little bean isn't atrophying in there and is growing larger. *pshew*

August 14, 1998
6:00 pm

Went to a doctors appointment today. The nurse said I was 25 weeks along so far. I couldn't remember, tell me if I didn't feel like an idiot asking. *shrug* I try not to pay too much attention in the early months because it just makes the time drag on forever.

She was a bit concerned with the amount of weight I'd gained since last month. 8 pounds, which puts me up to 163. YUCK. I know exactly why I've gained that much though I didn't tell her. Number one: it costs a lot of extra money to eat a very healthy diet. Hamburger, dairy products, and junk is all pretty cheap. I can't afford to eat as well as I was a few months ago. Number two: I was just on vacation last week. Do you think I exerted myself during that time? Please, I didn't do hardly anything but clean here and there. Plus I ate.

So that's where the weight has come from all of a sudden. *sigh* ahwell.

I have to go back on September 3rd for the really fun test: The Glucola test. I HATE this test. It's to check for Gestastional Diabetes. What do you have to do? Okay, picture a bottle of Sunkist Orange Soda. Now take out the carbonation. You have to drink it. Then you are not allowed even a sip of water for about 2 hours after you've taken it. No smoking either!

After about 2 hours they draw blood to make sure that my body is dealing with sugar the way it should. It always makes me naseauous as hell so Stuart is going to take off work and go with me for this one. They also have to draw blood to see if my body has started making any of those nasty little antibodies. The RH factor thing. If it IS making antibodies I have to be given a shot.

Rh incompatibility occurs when an Rh negative (does not have the dominant Rh factor) mother develops antibodies to an Rh positive baby, in utero. If you have received an Rh-immune globulin (Rhogam) shot during and after your pregnancies the chances of an Rh incompatibilty problem are reduced to less than 1%. Most practitioners give one dose at 28 weeks of pregnancy and then another within 72 hours after birth, if your baby is Rh positive.

The fun part though is that I am supposed to get a sonogram at this appointment. FINALLY. I hope that the child cooperates and isn't a shy person. I want to know what sex it is.